Well, at first, I intended this blog to be longer, because I was going to do some emotional sorting via it, but it turns out I just did it in the past ten minutes in my head, LOL, so I'm just gonna give a bit of a recap and share some thoughts. Please, feel free to comment if you want more info or help with this aspect in your own life.
A friend posted an incendiary status on Facebook, and I responded truthfully, yet jokingly. Her boyfriend, who was a friend of mine in the past (or at least pretended to be), has been holding in a bunch of energy against me (or so his response combined with my thought processes makes it seem). It hurt to hear the things he said, because I used to very highly value him, and though I've recently let that dissipate and released him from my surroundings, I have continued to treat him with respect though I have experienced him betraying himself over and over and over again for the past 2 years. Where I usually hold contempt for someone in that situation, I gave nothing but love and compassion in his direction (and I assumed he did the same). And I am VERY VERY easily thrown out of emotional balance AND I hate emotional surprises. So his comment on Facebook was very disorienting and upsetting.
What turned me to anger, however (and therefore the intense craving to bite back at him), was my ego going "Wait a minute...don't tell me that I'm not as amazing as I think I am, and that you'd love to see me dead..." and I went into emotional fight-or-flight
...which is an interesting concept...I get physical f-o-f because one must actually physically move to remove self from danger, but emotional f-o-f is technically unreal and unnecessary. One needn't do anything to return to peace besides love oneself and the other. No need to fly from the feeling, nor to fight back and damage someone else...interesting concept to me..
Yeah...I choose love.
I love me SO much more when I choose love, even if my ego does get to rage inside of me for a bit to get over itself while I am busy choosing love.
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Thank you for adding to the discussion :)