Day Two of Utah-L.A. Move: The Heat Is On!

Utah to Las Vegas was LITERALLY a breeze -- it was decently chilled and not (much) profuse sweating...HOWEVER, L.V. to L.A. was absolute sunny HELL. Welcome to Death Valley, Ryan, next time buy a car with A/C! (That's right, my car has NO A/C...and for those who care, it is 100 degrees today in L.A. Guh!)

So, anyway, I am driving through Death Valley and the Mojave DESERT, so I had face sweat and hand sweat and arm pit sweat and back sweat (from bein' up against the seat the whole drive...) and knee pit sweat...I'm sweating in EVERY crevasse I have...use your imagination...

And there are like NO gas stations between L.V. and Barstow, Calif., I swear to go, and (no exaggeration) I am about to pass out from deydration, so I think "Hmm, okay, I think I'll pull over at the next city and buy some drinks." The next city isn't for another 45 minutes. I have RUN OUT of sweat at this point. I'm playing a guessing game with myself in my mind wondering what will be the liquid that my body chooses to push out of my pores next...Blood? Bile? Vomit? Amniotic Fluid? WHO KNOWS?? So I finally get to a side-of-the-dirt-road market and as I pull up a man walks out. This man looks like a hillbilly mixed with a bum mixed with a man who hasn't yet learned what the words "Shower," "Shave," and "No, god, please don't kill me, sir!" mean. Then, as I park, I notice in front of me a woman who looks like she is on a mixture of Crack-Cocaine and Multiple Personalities Disorder. As hot and dying as I was, I STILL sat in my car for a minute and hesitated...I mean, it looked exACTly like the set from Texas Chainsaw Massacre and I didn't really want to die. But, I figured whether I died from a chainsaw or from dehydration, I'd be dying either way, and at least the Chainsaw way, I'd be able to check something off my Bucket List (yes, I've seriously always wanted to be in a real-life horror movie, specifically Texas Chainsaw Massacre...).

So I ventured into the shop (keeping my eyes peeled for anything suspicious) and wound my way to the cold beverages and went to purchase them.....the dude there was so nice and friendly and helpful (he was a TOTAL hippie! LOVED IT!), I ended up actually giving him a dollar tip! I'm sure he will use that to buy a new chainsaw, HOWEVER, I GOT OUT OF THERE ALIVE. That's the important thing. Lol.

Part Two to be published tomorrow...