TO ACCOMPLISH WITHIN THIS YEAR
(JUNE 25, 2009 – JUNE 25, 2010)
1. Learn Italian -NO
2. Learn French -NO
3. Have completed my personal brand -YES
4. Have committed 100% to and taken 5+ steps toward fulfilling my personal brand. -NO
5. Take an auto class: learn the basics of cars and how to fix an automobile. -NO
6. Document ALL volunteer hours I serve. -NO
7. Document EVERY item I donate, along with the amount of its value. -NO
8. Have taken one quantifiable step toward beginning a (meaningful) non-profit. -NO
9. Live a self-disciplined life. -YES
10. Live a peaceful, joyful, fulfilled life. -YES
11. Live healthily. -NO
12. At least biannually [revised from “quarterly”], throw fun, engaging, fabulous parties that are talked about (for joyful reasons) long after they occurred. -NO
13. Know basics of simple, elegant ballroom dances. -NO
14. Read King James’ Bible. -NO
15. Study Buddhism. -NO
16. Go to Iceland [revised from “Gili Meno in Bali”] for two weeks and live in introspective silence. *Note: I changed this to Iceland because in the two weeks I was there I accomplished exactly what I intended I’d create in Gili Meno, and did so being able to speak to others instead of limiting myself to “introspective silence.” -YES
17. Read one book every two months [revised from “per month”]. -NO
18. Save money wisely. -YES
19. Spend money wisely. -YES
20. Know money (though I now realize that this will probably be an ongoing lesson for me). -TO BE DISCUSSED LATER IN THE BLOG...
21. Take $3,000 [revised from “$30,000”] home to my personal bank account every month. -NO
22. Go, with my significant other, to Africa on a research trip for my non-profit, Educate Africa. -NO
Now, upon grading my efforts, I noticed myself wanting to slip into "Well, no, buuuut..." or "Well, I kinda did that one..." and the truth came down to "NO. I DID NOT DO THIS ONE. END OF STORY." because that's all it really ends up being-- a story. Now, I'm not going to completely discount the story, because there's value to be found in it. However, I get in my way of improving the quickest if I grade it initially as "Kinda" instead of simply the black-and-white truth, which is "No."
For example, if I spend time thinking "kinda" about something, then I put it off, because I think "Well, I have already made some progress on this one, so I'm okay, and I can skip to another one and make some kinda progress over there..." whereas if I grade it as a "No, I've not yet accomplished this one," then I know there is still work to be had, and that it is important to me to accomplish, because I'm being real with my thoughts...I'm lining myself up more powerfully with reality.
ON THE OTHER HAND, in telling the story, or giving my excuses, I can give myself nominal credit for what I may have accomplished while identifying exactly where I need to improve to complete the task. If I solely grade one item with "Yes" or "No," I don't give myself any indication on where to improve.
So, now, here are my stories, and what I am learning from them [take note that some don't have stories, there just "NO" plain and simple]:
TO ACCOMPLISH WITHIN THIS YEAR
(JUNE 25, 2009 – JUNE 25, 2010)
1. Learn Italian -NO
2. Learn French -NO..BUT when I went to Iceland, I talked with a French girl from Belgium, so that counts. So what I learned is that I provide myself with ample opportunities to do what I want to do, but out of fear, I step back from the opportunity and watch others do it instead. I mean, really how many people have the chance to spend 2 weeks straight with people from France, Canada, Taiwan, Japan, Slovakia, Austria, Italy and Germany? If I really applied myself and stepped out of my comfort zone, I could have learned a bit of all their languages, come to think of it!
3. Have completed my personal brand -YES.
4. Have committed 100% to and taken 5+ steps toward fulfilling my personal brand. -NO. BUT I DID create a survey to send out to all of my FB friends to give me feedback on my personal brand. And then I never sent it out. Why? Oh, because I got lazy, and then I gave myself excuses, and agreed with those excuses, and then tossed it out of my brain.
5. Take an auto class: learn the basics of cars and how to fix an automobile. -NO. BUT I did fix one thing in my friend's car once, and the thought "I have a sister who works at Jiffy Lube, so technically I don't NEED to learn about cars, 'cause she can always help me." got in my way. Oh, and the fact that I decided that the only place I could learn about cars was at a class at SLCC but it was too much money for the effort and value, and I couldn't find one that was geared toward beginners. Instead of seeing all that as signs that I was wrong in believing I could only learn it at SLCC, I chose to just give up on accomplishing this one.
6. Document ALL volunteer hours I serve. -NO. But I seriously do need to get this shit done. I found this thing online a few weeks ago about the "Presidential Award in Service" and a couple other nationally-recognized awards I could (easily) obtain for how much I serve, and I still didn't let that motivate me to adequately complete this one...but yeah, I'm motivated now, because I probably volunteer roughly 200 hours a month (as a starting ballpark figure...)
7. Document EVERY item I donate, along with the amount of its value. -NO. This one was difficult for me to grade as a NO because I keep all my receipts when I donate something, and I notate on the receipt how much the value is, so technically, I could easily say YES for this one, right? Well, when I initially wrote this on my "bucket list," I had in mind that I would document this (and the one above) in Excel spreadsheets for easy housekeeping, and I haven't taken that step yet, so to be in integrity with myself, I just couldn't say YES on this one...which totally sucked to be THAT close to being able to say YES on one of them, but not, because I really only went 90% on it...That's one lesson...Another is that I noticed that it is easier for me to fudge things a little and create that false sense of accomplishment rather than aligning with reality, when I don't create the goal as specifically as possible. I mean, when I initially wrote this goal, I was tired and it was late so I wrote it so that everyone else would understand what my goal was, and in my head, I knew that I wanted it on a spreadsheet and all, but 9 months later, my pre-wrap-up comes around and I could have easily fudged that because I didn't have it set in stone, detailed exactly and specifically what I really wanted to accomplish...
8. Have taken one quantifiable step toward beginning a (meaningful) non-profit. -NO. This one just plain sucks to have said NO to because I was so passionate about it at the time I wrote this.
9. Live a self-disciplined life. -YES
10. Live a peaceful, joyful, fulfilled life. -YES
11. Live healthily. -NO. I was so happy to say YES to this one because I've started P90X and I'm eating more healthily and I've really started living more healthily than before I initially wrote this goal, and then RIGHT as I was about to write "YES," I had a craving for a smoke, and I knew in good faith, as long as I am still smoking, I cannot say YES to this one. It totally sucked to have to change my answer here at the last second.
12. At least biannually [revised from “quarterly”], throw fun, engaging, fabulous parties that are talked about (for joyful reasons) long after they occurred. -NO. This is one thing that I really wanted to do before, and now I just see it as kind of shallow and a waste of money and resources in general, so part of me is glad to have put a NO on this, and I will actually be striking it from my list in the future, 'cause it's just not me anymore...I mean, yes, I LOVE to party, and I love to be the center of attention, and I love event planning, BUT right now it's just not a priority to me. I think that partly stems from when I had the epiphany with Alex that I didn't care anymore to obsess over the wedding plans, and he could just do it all with minimal input from me...it was just too much stress and "to-do" for one day, so I gave up my share of it. I think this is the same feeling...
13. Know basics of simple, elegant ballroom dances. -NO. But this is a priority to me. not right now, and I'm not sure it will be before the end of June, but definitely before fall comes around, so we'll see what steps I end up defining with this one..
14. Read King James’ Bible. -NO. Ugh. This just seems more like a chore to me than even a goal...I put this one here, and the one below it, because over the course of my life, I wanted to learn as much about religions as I can, so I could be on the adequate -- if not higher -- level with people when it came to these discussions, and also because religion dominates history, and I'm kind of a history buff, but I don't feel the sense of urgency anymore to actually do this. I mean, yeah, I'll end up learning about all the religions before I die, but I don't feel the urgency to do it all as soon as I can and before I turn 30 at the latest, like I did before. There just seems to be so much more to my life now than reading old books.
15. Study Buddhism. -NO. See number 14.
16. Go to Iceland [revised from “Gili Meno in Bali”] for two weeks and live in introspective silence. *Note: I changed this to Iceland because in the two weeks I was there I accomplished exactly what I intended I’d create in Gili Meno, and did so being able to speak to others instead of limiting myself to “introspective silence.” -YES. This was easy to say YES to, haha.
17. Read one book every two months [revised from “per month”]. -NO. Then again, as it's only been 9 months, I only need to have read 4 books, and I may have done that...but I don't know for sure off the top of my head, so I figured the best thing to do would to put NO, 'cause then I'm not hyping myself up and ironically simultaneously selling myself short on the experience.
18. Save money wisely. -YES. GO ME!
19. Spend money wisely. -YES. GO ME!
20. Know money (though I now realize that this will probably be an ongoing lesson for me). -TO BE DISCUSSED LATER IN THE BLOG... Okay...I didn't feel like answering this with YES or NO was adequate, because I've learned so much about money since I initially created this goal, in that money is not to be known...I always thought money was powerful, and money was soulless and heartless and I would always be victim to money. That's why I created this goal. I thought there HAD to be something I was missing, but I didn't know what, so I created my goal to be "Know money." (I know, it's totally vague, but that is the most specific I could get in that moment with my lack of knowledge regarding money at that time!) So, what I've learned is that money IS soulless and heartless, but not with the connotation with which I was associating it. It's just neutral, and I was throwing all my negativity and power onto it, and I was creating myself to be victim to money. I honestly don't even know how, but I'm in a different space regarding money, and don't see it as such (I wish I knew why exactly so I could assist others in getting here, but I have no clue yet!) So I could write Yes AND No as an answer here, and neither (nor do both) feel adequate as answers...
21. Take $3,000 [revised from “$30,000”] home to my personal bank account every month. -NO. Still ruminating on this. I'd like to take more home than just $3,000, but I'm not sure if it's reality. And then the other part of me doesn't really care how much I take home, either, as long as I'm living and I'm traveling and enjoying every part of my life.
22. Go, with my significant other, to Africa on a research trip for my non-profit, Educate Africa. -NO. This made me laugh a bit and then feel a bit of pain and remorse in memory of Alex. And then I got over that tidbit of pain really quickly and didn't let it dominate the rest of my day, which was nice. This should be more of a long-term goal (like maybe a 5-year goal) for me, because I'd love to do it, but it's not an immense priority for me right now because I simply want to travel and not have to do any "work" while I'm doing it, which the research would feel like. Then again, it'd be wise to go on more than one trip as research anyhow, so maybe I can revise it to be simply a trip to Africa for the first time and then future times will be more research-intensive......
So, what are you noticing as you read this? About me and about you? I'm actually reeeeeeally interested in hearing your thoughts because A) I'm interested in you, B) I love learning about other people, C) I love learning about myself through other people's experiences of themselves, and D) I love learning about myself through other people's experiences of me.
Thank you, and I can't wait to hear from you!
Love, Joy, and Forward Movement
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