I Envision Assimilation and Tolerance

The other day, I put on my Facebook status the following: "Irony: when religious zealots make preventing gays from marrying peacefully their newest false idol." I did not say anyone I knew was a religious zealot. I did not say all religious people are crazy zealots. I did not list anyone in particular. I simply posted what I wrote above. And the only person who responded so far wrote "I think the real irony is how gay people preach tolerance and show more intolerance for others than anyone I know." Now, I am gay. And her brothers are gay. And one of her friends is gay. And she still says she believes this. How can that be? One cannot stereotype a group of people but say that there are some of that group that they don't believe it about. That's just not how the mind works. You either believe it about us all, or you don't. Yes, there may have been some very intolerant gay people in your history (I know I can think of quite a few), but to say that gay people are the least tolerant people of ANYONE is a very powerful and clear statement. And I don't agree with her claim that gay people kissing in front of a temple, or defacing churches or any of the other items she wrote as evidence are the most intolerant acts ever demonstrated by anyone or any group in mankind's history. I do NOT condone any of the things she wrote as evidence of gay people being intolerant AND I do not believe them to be the most intolerant acts ever committed. Yes, kiss-ins are juvenile in my opinion, and especially that gays would be holding it in front of the temple, obstructing the way for devout followers of a faith who want to simply peacefully worship and enjoy their day. AND when the kiss-ins were happening, I loudly voiced to ALL my friends (straight AND gay) that I thought it was immature and purposeless and I lost a couple friends for it in fact. Yet I am lumped into the same category as those friends I lost. I am lumped into the same category as the people who actually participated in an act that I found revolting, immature and disrespectful.

Now, I want to state here to all readers: I'm not writing this to win, I'm not writing this to be a bitch, I'm not writing this to get people against her or to belittle her or to get people to harass her, and I would appreciate it if all readers would respect those wishes. Why I AM writing this is to provide to straight people just a little bit of clarity on the history of the treatment of gays.

There's a lot of things to say to combat what she said, and I'm going to say them here to get them out. I don't want to confront her, because I don't think that's the high road, but I also feel a need to express travesties that are done to the gay community of which she (or others) may simply not know. And NOTE, this is all to MY knowledge...there may be things out there that have happened to straight people that I don't know about, and please feel free to put them here if they have been (education is always best).

First: I have never known a straight teenager to be kidnapped by his gay peers, dragged out to the middle of nowhere, beaten to a bloody pulp, tied up to a fencepost, beaten some more and left for dead, on the brink of death, all because the child was straight. I do know of a gay 14-year-old that has happened to him. His name is Matthew Shephard and he lived and died in Laramie, Wyoming. For those who don't know, Laramie is a mere 5 hours and 37 minutes away by car. In this huge nation, that is much too close for comfort. And to have my fear and my pain and mostly HIS pain, and his mother's pain reduced to "Gays are intolerant" is just straight up bull. There's no other wording for it.

Second: In Iran -- and MANY other countries -- being gay is punishable by death or many other forms of atrocities. What?? Why? Why is my being attracted to someone else punishable by death? Whether or not being gay is a choice or something you're born as isn't the argument here. The question is -- either way -- why is a way of being punishable by death, or by being whipped severely and scarred? It's not punishable by death to be a businessman, or to be a stay at home mom, or even in many of these countries to be a prostitute, yet it is worthy of death simply to be gay (even if one doesn't act on it)??

Many careers have been destroyed because a person has come out of the closet. And yes, my belief is that most of these times it is because when the person comes out, they go a little overboard and they act "too gay". I mean, take a look at a few people... Lance Bass: Well, he didn't have much of a career left, HOWEVER, he has earned a lot of respect because he told everyone "I just wanna be a normal gay. I don't need to be all outlandish and everything." Same with Neil Patrick Harris and Ricky Martin. Rosie O'Donnell? Well, she was like the queen of acting too gay when she came out. And look at the way she is perceived in the media. Tell me one straight person who perceives her as "normal" or "acceptable". I have not met any myself. The argument here may have gotten a little obfuscated, so let me point it out for certain: since when has it been bad to be "too straight"? Are people fired from their job for being "too straight"? Are people called derogatory words for being "too straight"? Are people completely dismissed as actual humans for being "too straight"? No. Bottom line is: NO.

Based on THESE EXAMPLES, saying gay people are intolerant of the way straight people have treated them would be akin to saying that black people were intolerant of the KKK. I'm not saying it's okay for gay people to be "intolerant" and it's not for straight people. I'm not saying that gays are righteous and straights are evil. What I'm trying to do here is point out that gay people have had an inordinate amount of intolerance shown to them in recent history, and maybe it's about time for straight people to give us a little wiggle room?