My Body Is Killing Me

As I sit here, I think about that phrase....

Here is the current physical condition of my body:
I've suddenyl developed allergies, out of nowhere....(WTF?..)
I'm possibly fevering
I have had a congested nose for about a week
I have had a runny nose for about a week
I've got a scratchy throat
I can barely move my back and spine where it's connected to my pelvis
My lower right bicep hurts any time that I raise it above my head too far
My neck is tighter than it has ever been, specifically on the right side
And my back is also annoyingly tight...

I sit here and think "My body is killlllliiiing meeeeee"
And then I think, "Well, yeah, that's true."
And then I ask myself, "K wait, what, Ryan??" Lol.
My body is outside of my actual self. It is always aging, always diseasing or not, always deteriorating, and my soul is inside, doing its thing. I wanna say it is always getting stronger and stronger. And I wonder at the paradox of this. Why is it that as our souls get stronger, our body gets weaker? Why can't we have it all? For me to evolve spiritually, I must deteriorate this body?
Ooh, interesting tangent: I just read my Facebook horoscope and it said: "There may be a health or emotional problem you have to deal with, and while that may be something of a challenge, it could turn out to be more than worth the effort." Crazy!

Anyway, back to the conversation.
I see hope in the deterioration of my body, in that I love to evolve, and I love to feel like I'm headed forward...but then again, I don't want to depart from this world. As I don't know what is next for us -- for me -- I don't want to just die at some point and not be around all these amazing people I have connected with throughout my life. Hmm...

Something that is frustrating me lately:
I feel like I'm evolving, and I'm being this amazing person, and I'm doing all these things that align with this amazing me, and yet my financial life does not reflect that. I have been teaching myself how to be financially successful, and I am not seeing any successes...in fact, I am seeing the exact opposite. I have never been poorer, I have never wanted to do so much and not been able to because of my financial state...and it totally sucks. But I am, in the meantime, doing everything I can to continue on and looking toward the light at the end of the tunnel.

So as I sit here, I wonder: Why can't I have it all? I hear others doing so. I learn at Great Life that it's possible, and I trust it. And then it doesn't happen, and I get a bit confused...I get a bit distraught...and I get a bit more hopeless...and I just keep pushing on, doing what I can to have it all. But I am not feeling it. What needs to happen for it to finally click? When will I have it all? Be it all...